Very Sad News

I have these two students.  Brothers.  Both fail more classes than they pass.  Both are absent frequently.  Both get in lots of fights.  At least one has been arrested.  Both know how to get right under my skin without even trying.  They walk up to my desk and take things without asking permission.  They wander around the classroom all period looking for someone to bother.  They steal out of my classroom fridge when I'm not looking.  Both have mouths that could make a sailor blush.  They are well versed in the revolving doors of the dean's office and the in school suspension room.  At our school we have meetings about these children at least once a year.  To the best of my knowledge, no parent or guardian has ever shown up to any meeting.  Rarely does an adult even answer a phone call from the school.  And nothing with these two students ever seems to change.  "That mom," I've been guilty of thinking on several occasions, "Where is she?  She needs to do something about those kids.  She should show up at school once in a while.  She should return a phone call once in a while.  Oh, that's right," I think to myself smugly, "She's probably got more important places to be."  

Last week I found out that she really does have more important places to be.  She's in the ICU.  It's grim. That's why the boys have been absent so much lately.  Boy, did that knowledge put me back in my place.

You know what?  I love kids.  I teach the kids that others don't want to teach, and I tolerate a lot more than most teachers would because I look for the motivation behind the actions rather than just punishing the actions.  I work really hard to be tolerant and loving and kind.  And guess what?  I still have a long way to go.  Sometimes I really screw up in my assessments.  I am ashamed to say it, but it was much easier for me to blame what I perceived as bad behavior on what I perceived as negligent parenting than it was for me to really try to get to know what was going on with these kids or this family. Stereotyping is always easier than listening, but the right thing and the easy thing are rarely ever one and the same.